Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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