im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Randomize
