Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
