This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
