Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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