You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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