dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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