1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
