so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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