sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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