oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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