I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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