FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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