Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I need help removing her.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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