I looked at my own cervix.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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