Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
