it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
