We named our party play list daddy issues
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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