I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
how does that bad decision feel?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
