mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
