These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
