He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
