okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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