That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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