After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize