Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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