So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
