needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
