whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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