Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize