Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
