her vagine was all disorganized.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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