His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
