dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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