are you still at the devil's house?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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