Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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