all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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