That's intense
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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