Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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