Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
