I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
false alarm, still single
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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