I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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