sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You pole danced in your parka.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
