why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
