Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize