He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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