the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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