I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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