And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
