people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
