Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
