I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize