This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
