I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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