As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
