Define "chronic" masturbator.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
