he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
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