Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
