let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
