HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
