I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We had to coat check the pizza.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
