She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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