I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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