No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
