ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
