If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
