Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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