I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
