girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize