he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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