He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize