i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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