Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
