i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize