just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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