think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
