We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My dick has a subreddit
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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