just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
