I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
